


you saw the stars out in front of you, too tempting not to touch

by weepingbucky



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes-centric, M/M, idk it just came out like that, poetic second person pov, poetic you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 10:32:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15046955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingbucky/pseuds/weepingbucky
Summary: You wake up and you don't know who you are. But someone else does. The man who ran after you. The man with a shield with a star on it. The man you fought.He called you Bucky.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from Florence and the Machine's "Various Storms and Saints" (one more song that reminds me of Bucky... have you read those lyrics?!)

You wake up and you don’t know who you are. They ask what your name is; you don’t answer. Somewhere inside of you, you know that no word you could say would be the one they want. Who are they? They’re not the same as last time, they’re never the same.  

Last time? So there was a last time. That, you can remember. That, and the pain. So you just lie still and wait.

 

*****

 

You wake up and you don’t know who you are. They call you the Winter Soldier. You take their orders and you obey without asking questions. They call you the Asset. You know that what you do is important to them. 

What is your name? The Winter Soldier, the Asset, whatever name they assign you if you need to go undercover. That’s all there ever was: the missions, the false identities. You are a blank face on which they can put any mask and create what is needed. 

Once, you slip from their hands. You go to another part of the city where you had a mission to accomplish. Maybe the last identity they gave you have grown on you. Being the American is awfully easy. This place feels familiar. Houses, people on the streets… You have no recollection of this neighbourhood. But some part of you tells you that it just feels _right_.

They think it’s wrong.

 

*****

 

You wake up and you don’t know who you are. But someone else does. The man who ran after you. The man with the shield with a star on it. The man you fought.

He called you Bucky. 

_Bucky?_

Who the hell is that. Is that your name? Who was that man? He seemed to recognize you. He _knew_ you. Bucky. Suddenly you’re not a simple soldier to discard. You have a name. You exist. You remember his eyes looking at you, full of astonishment and pain and recognition. Those eyes pierced their way through a wall you didn’t know you had and… you know them. You know _him._

They say you met the man on an earlier mission. No. You _knew him_. If there’s something you’re certain of, it’s that. You can’t explain why or how, but you do. 

They’ll have to make you forget that.

 

*****

 

You wake up and you don’t know who you are. Your brain feels blank, you know something happened before they made you forget again. For a moment you think you're getting stronger… and then all your thoughts are on the mission. You are the Asset; you must stop the man they call Captain America. You get ready. 

There are eyes in your mind. You get flashes of someone looking at you, bewildered. You catch yourself observing crowds, searching for something? Someone? And thinking no. They're wrong. It's not them. 

And finally you find him. _Him_. You're on a hovering platform, fighting the man with the shield, the so-called Captain America, and right when you have him cornered, ready to give the final blow, he looks straight into your eyes. Who is he? You know he's important. He's your mission. 

_Then finish it. ‘Cause i'm with you ‘til the end of the line_.

You can't. You can't think. Your brain feels like it's rewiring, sparks flying where connections are made. You're scared, you don't understand, and he's falling, _everything_ is falling apart, and you can't let him go. You jump. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

You wake up and you don't know who you are. Well, not really. But for the first time in a while, you have a lead. You’re James Buchanan Barnes, or so it seems. You're in the museum and there's your face, laughing… for once it doesn't look like a mask they would've wanted you to wear. There you are, looking at Steve Rogers, Captain America, the man you saved… _best friend since childhood_?

You want to remember him. You want to remember yourself. That smiling person looking back at you. But you’re not sure you want to know what came in between. All you did under their orders. You’re still more of a weapon than a man, aren’t you? An _asset_. A supersoldier made for war and nothing else. A killing machine.

Well, time for this machine to break. The monster’s turning against its creators. So Hydra made you lost your head? Now it’s their turn to lose theirs, faster than they grow back.

Let the track begin.

 

*****

 

You wake up and, yeah, this time, you know who you are. Bucky. Not a monster, not a soldier. A man lost in time, found again. Steve Rogers’ best friend since the day you saw him. You don’t remember everything from your life before the war, but honestly? You probably loved him from the moment you met him all those years ago. With him by your side, you feel whole again. They tried to make him disappear, to make you forget. They made a Steve Rogers-shaped hole in your brain, left it gaping and didn’t think you’d try to fill it with everything you could find. Right now, filling it wouldn’t even be enough.You’ll make a mountain out of memories, old and new. You’re the one in charge of your brain, now. Nobody else gets to decide what goes and what stays. There are things you’ll try to forget, but the rest?

The rest you’ll keep.

 

*****

 

You wake up in his arms and you know who you are. You know where you are, where you belong. And you know you’ll stay there... till the end of the line.

**Author's Note:**

> a short first fic! thanks for reading!


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